


I Can Make You A Man

by chazzercised



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1533212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chazzercised/pseuds/chazzercised
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin wants the perfect man (and some company); so, he decides to make him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Make You A Man

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous tumblr ask box prompt: Rocky Horror Picture Show AU w/ freewood. It turned out as an RHPS/AH style ficlet, rather than a parody.

It was a dark and stormy night, and Gavin was standing on the side of the road. His wet hair clung to his forehead and he was hugging himself tightly, shivering. He was frustrated and frowning down at the pavement; his plans always seemed to fall through, and tonight’s adventure had been no exception.

A car had come by, which only happened a couple of times a day, if at all. He had seen the head-lights from his mansion, and without thinking (his excitement had gotten the better of him), he had grabbed the metal bat he kept by the front door for times like these, and made his way to the car. There was a woman at the steering wheel, pressing down on the gas every so often, as another girl was working at the engine.

Gavin had meant to startle the girl, but he stumbled over the shoelaces he’d forgotten to tie, and the whole thing went terribly from there. He’d swung the bat in a panic, hitting her hard in the face and knocking her unconscious. Unfortunately, they hadn’t come unprepared, and he was surprised by the other girl who tasered him. While he was down she had given him a good hard kick to the side, and tasered him one more time, for good measure. They had escaped before he could get back up, leaving him right back where he was before.

Normally he wasn’t violent, and it wasn’t that he was some sort of serial killer, it was that he was in need of a human brain. Unfortunately, those were rather hard to come by, and he was beginning to resort to measures such as attacking unsuspecting travelers. So he stood out in the rain, determined to come up with a new, and more effective plan before he went anywhere else. Then it hit him: there was a farm down the road, with an entire herd of cattle, each with a brain he could use. They couldn’t be too different from a human one; they had the same functions and could think and stuff.

—-

The sun was coming up and the storm had subsided, and Gavin was hurrying up his front lawn covered in blood. It turned out that cows weren’t all that easy to kill, and he had headed to the farm without thinking to grab the right materials to decapitate a cow. He’d spent the rest of the night trying to remove a brain from an animal with a strong will to live. He had barely escaped without being caught, and had to run through the woods with carrying a brain with his bare hands; in the excitement he had not grabbed something to carry it in.

Once inside, Gavin kicked off his shoes and sprinted down the long corridors, nearly falling over several times. He made it down into the basement where there was a large lab, full of working machines and a strong stench of bleach. On the far end of the room was a large vat of sizzling, orange liquid. Gavin carried the brain over to the counter beside it, setting it next to an empty vile of something labeled ‘blonde’. He climbed onto the step ladder next to him, and peered into the vat with a thoughtful expression.

"Hmm," he mumbled, scratching at the stubble on his chin. "Maybe a little more bronzer."

Gavin reached over and grabbed a small black tub and squirted the remainder of it’s contents into the concoction. It bubbled and Gavin hopped the ladder with a satisfied grin. He grabbed the brain and crawled back up. He took a moment to appreciate the final ingredient to the project he’d been working on for almost two weeks; it was the most focus he’s ever dedicated to something.

"When you’re done cooking, we’ll have loads of fun!" he told the brain.

With that, Gavin dropped it in and watched it sink to join the bones, other organs, and carefully chosen assortment of things meant to inspire a certain attributes in his creation. Gavin had done his best to create the perfect man, but he was no genius, and there was always the chance the entire experiment wouldn’t work. He wasn’t really worried, though, and soon he wouldn’t have to be alone ever again.

Gavin flipped on a switch on the vat and when it started spinning, he took off for the main part of the house. He had a couple hours to wait, and he didn’t really want his first impression to be of him covered in animal blood.

—-

Wasting a couple hours while waiting for something exciting was incredibly stressful; Gavin was sure the anticipation would kill him before he could meet his creation. He managed to survive, as he spent his time finding distractions around the house. After his shower he made a peanut-butter sandwich; he was out of jelly. When he was done eating, he had gone to get dressed. His new friend would be perfect, and he wanted to be just as perfect.

As he dug through his drawers and his closet, leaving the rejected clothes on the floor, he tried to think up names. He liked the letter R and went over as many names he could. Randall? No, far to old sounding. Roger? That wouldn’t do. Ray? That was alright, but the more Gavin said it aloud, it just sounded wrong. It was a good hour before he decided on an outfit, and the name Ryan. He liked the way it sounded when he said it, and he also looked fantastic in thigh high boots.

Giving himself a once over in the mirror, he wondered briefly why he didn’t wear this corset more often. Honestly, the other was too bright and didn’t match his complexion quite as nicely as this one. After he took a moment to pull at the frilled panties that had started riding up, he strolled out of the room with a huge, goofy grin on his face. He was certain that everything would be ready by now.

When he got downstairs, he threw open the door in excitement. His grin faltered, however, when he saw that the power on the large vat had been cut off. He ran across the room, nearly twisting his ankle as he went; he had never really gotten used to heels. There he found orange footprints on the floor. Cautiously, he followed them to the door at the end of the long counter. It was slightly open, and he put a smile on as he reached out and pulled it open.

Inside was a naked man, sitting on the floor. He looked up at Gavin, confused and concerned. His hair was light brown and a little floppy; he wasn’t even somewhat tan, either. Gavin scrunched up his nose, extremely disappointed by the older fellow with all the wrong physical features looking up at him. The only thing that had gone right was that he had gotten lucky and the man had pretty blue eyes.

"Good enough," Gavin sighed, holding out his hands. When the man didn’t take them, looking uncertain now, Gavin wiggled his fingers and smiled brightly. "You have to get up, Ryan. We’re not going to fall madly in love if you stay in here."

"Ryan?"

"That’s your name," Gavin said, nodding. "And mine’s Gavin."

"Okay."

Still uncomfortable, Ryan allowed him to help him up. He gave him a half-smile, which Gavin found pretty cute; he could see finding him attractive with some time. Most importantly, though, was to hook him up to the machine he’d bought, which would smarten Ryan up. They couldn’t very well have conversations if he didn’t have knowledge of anything. With that thought, the disappointment faded, and he was filled with a new excitement. Gavin was pretty sure his experiment had worked out just fine; he did, after all, have someone to befriend now.


End file.
